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On Graduation Day in May of 2006, the Radical Homosexual Agenda traveled to Highland Falls, New York, in order to deliver the following address to gay, lesbian, and bisexual cadets at West Point.
You're STILL gay!
Four years in the closet,
Five more on the way!
You have dread in your head.
You have shame deep inside.
Who cares about marriage
when the gun is your bride?
With no student loans, you're one lucky grad!
Be All You Can Be ... But Lie Just a Tad.
Yes, on you will go
though deceit is your fate.
On you will go
though THEY'RE "openly" straight.
On you will go
though the Fag Bashers bash!
Onward up many
a frightening ladder,
though lesbians and gays?
YOU'RE bad and badder!
You'll fondle your trigger — perhaps in Iran.
As you aim, you might say, "Does this make me a man?"
With your head full of dread and your heart full of shame,
think of bin Laden; not Bush — or the ways they're the same.
No, don't ask and don't tell!
But clearly it's true:
Osama and Dubya —
Two men who hate YOU.
War is their love;
Their mistress is power.
(Baghdad was bridesmaid
at their wedding shower!)
Now you serve them —
A funny couple, these two.
To love war is holy;
To be gay is taboo!
Special thanks go to Dr. Seuss and George W. Bush, who delivered a far sillier address at West Point that day. Only his didn't rhyme.